Voice in My Head

The inspiration behind this blog is encouraging Christians to be "real" to each other and to God.  The more we face up to who we really are, the more we see our need for the grace, love, and mercy of a perfect Father. 

I have been battling the voice of doubt in my head.  It tells me that I am not worthy to impart any Biblical truth to anyone.  I do not hold a PHD in theology.  Furthermore, I sin.  Daily.  What if people examine my life as a result of this blog and see my flaws?  Who am I to be used by God to bring encouragement to others?

Well, who I am is this:  I am a sinful person who has accepted the gift of forgiveness from my sins that was offered to me through the blood Jesus shed on the cross.  This forgiveness cancels the punishment of my sins.  I have faith that His blood has redeemed me (or bought me back) and I now belong to Him, flaws and all.  His love for me draws me into a relationship with Him and I love Him more each day.  As my love for Him increases, I want to obey and please Him. 

I am also a person who, from time to time, is impressed with a particular scripture or thought and as a result I am driven, compelled even, to share that thought or revelation with others.  If I believe I belong to Him and I believe the Holy Spirit is inspiring me to share something with others, THAT is what makes me worthy.

   "It's who you are and the way you live that count before God. Your worship must engage your spirit in the pursuit of truth. That's the kind of people the Father is out looking for: those who are simply and honestly themselves before him in their worship. God is sheer being itself—Spirit. Those who worship him must do it out of their very being, their spirits, their true selves, in adoration."
John 4:23-24, The Message

It's who you ARE, not who you WERE.  It's about being honest in your need for Him.  None of us are worthy.  If we were worthy on our own, Jesus died for nothing.

So in summary: I sin.  I ask for forgiveness and try to be more like Jesus.  I occasionally get impressed to share things that are laid on my heart in hopes someone will be encouraged or enlightened because of it.  If that happens, all glory to God.  I am less than nothing without Him.....seriously.

There, now maybe the voice in my head will shut up.

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Make the Grade

As this school year is winding down, teachers will be preparing the final report cards for each student.  Report cards are a way of giving some kind of measurement to the progress and aptitude of  an individual.  My devotional this week presented an interesting thought.  When I was in school, it would have been nice if my friends could have given me my grades or even better, if I could have graded myself.  There have been times with my own kids that I wish I could have given them their grades.  But alas, the grades must come from the teacher.

At the end of your day, do you ever reflect and give yourself a grade?  Maybe you had a particularly productive day.  For me that would mean, the house is spotless, the children are clean and homework is done, the family is digesting the delicious meal that I prepared, and everyone in the house is getting along.  That would be an A+ day to me.  Or perhaps I had received several complements on a given day.  My boss tells me I am doing a great job.  My friends say nice things about my children.  My husband comments that I am more beautiful than ever and my kids express to me their love.  That would certainly feel like an A+ day.
But the truth is this; just like it was in school, neither my friends, family, nor I, can really give an accurate grade to my day. 

Consider this writing of Paul in 1 Corinthians 4
¹ A person should consider us in this way: as servants of Christ and managers of God's mysteries. ² In this regard, it is expected of managers that each one be found faithful. ³ It is of little importance that I should be evaluated by you or by a human court. In fact, I don't even evaluate myself. ⁴ For I am not conscious of anything against myself, but I am not justified by this. The One who evaluates me is the Lord. ⁵ Therefore don't judge anything prematurely, before the Lord comes, who will both bring to light what is hidden in darkness and reveal the intentions of the hearts. And then praise will come to each one from God.

God is the only One who can truly place a grade on your day and on your life!  And what is it based on?  The intentions of your heart.  The last verse says that if my heart is in the right place with Him, I will receive praise from God!! That is both relieving and scary.  It is a relief because we are free from the bondage of the opinion of others (and ourselves), but scary because it forces us to evaluate the intentions behind what we do.  Everything we do, we should do out of love for our Savior and gratitude for the mercy and grace that salvation affords.  Just as we must follow the college professor's agenda to be successful in our learning, we cannot expect to set aside God's agenda for our day and then hope that He is pleased with our progress in our daily walk with Him.

Today, look to the Supreme Teacher for His agenda.  Then, look only to Him to grade your day.  Do not let your conscience be falsely clear as a result of being dulled down.  But also, do not be overly burdened by unnecessary guilt.  Only God can determine what makes for a spiritually productive day.  And it has a lot more to do with what we "do" do, rather than what we "don't" do.

And by the way, this is one learning institution from which we never graduate.

I HATE LOSING STUFF!

Such is my personality that I get very upset when I lose something--I mean, really upset.  I am sure it has to do with a deep seeded control issue.  I lost something important this morning.  It was a book.  I know that doesn't sound so devastating, but tucked into the book were important papers.  Regardless of the value, being unable to locate an item is a very unwelcome interruption to my day.  When I went to retrieve it from where I believed it to be, I could not find it.  Concern quickly turned into panic.  Frustation arose in me to the point of tears as I searched everywhere my book possibly could be.  I HATE LOSING STUFF!

I determined to skip my morning devotions; afterall, I was much too distracted and upset to focus on the Bible and prayer. (Although I was praying a rather angry prayer that God would help me find my book.)  Then I received a text from my dad.  Now, my dad takes the time each morning to send his kids a short text of either a Bible verse or an inspirational truth.  Today's text was (are you ready for this?)  "Don't let a problem become an excuse."  Well, talk about a word in due season.  So, I sat down with my Bible and my Sunday School material that I use for my morning devotions and began to force my mind to focus on Ezra, rather than my lost item. 

Wouldn't you know, about five minutes into my study time, my husband calls from work.  He decided to look in his car one more time after we had already scoured it over three times before he left this morning.  But this time, he was lead to move the driver seat all the way forward and there, under the seat, was my book.

God has such a cool way of speaking to us.  He used a lost book and a text from my dad to remind me that although I am not always in control, He is, and I need to chill out and continue to do the right thing. 

What did God say to you today?

Seeing Is Believing

Around Easter time every year, most Christian are drawn to re-read and reflect on the Resurrection of Jesus.  I have spent some time over the last few weeks pondering John 20.  The theme of this chapter seems to be what was seen.  In verse 1, Mary Magdalene "saw" the stone was rolled away.  In verse 5, John "looked" at the empty grave clothes and verse 6, Peter also "saw" the neatly folded strips of linen and the folded burial cloth that had been around Jesus' head. 

At least two more times, the chapter refers to seeing.  In verses 8, and 11, both Mary and John saw an empty tomb.  The impact of the empty tomb must have been tremendous.  As hard as it was to watch their beloved Savior die, how much more upsetting was it now to not know where His body has gone.  But what struck me is the differences in their reactions to what they saw.  The account says, Mary saw and wept.  But John saw and believed.  Two people, both very much impacted by the life and love of the Son of God, both in the same situation, both given the same realization, but two very different responses.

To Mary, the empty tomb meant confusion, grief, desperation--even to the point that she seemed unfazed by the appearance of angels and later did not recognize Jesus, Himself. 

The Bible says John saw and believed, even though he did not understand (verse 9).  To him, the empty tomb meant hope--hope that something great has happened or will be the result of what has happened.  He believed that Jesus was in control of this situation, therefore, John was at peace with what he saw.

This past Sunday, my Sunday School teacher said the following profound statement, almost as an afterthought (she probably doesn't even remember saying it because it was said off the cuff), but as soon as she said it, it got my attention and I wrote it down.  She said, "It is more important to believe than to understand".  Let that settle for a minute.  We always want to understand what has happened, what is going to happen, what is the result of what has happened.  We want to understand why an event was allowed to rock our world.  We want to understand how long are we going to be affected by this event.  But John, when given the same information as Mary, SAW AND BELIEVED, without understanding.

When our world experiences a personal earthquake, be it a tremor (flat tire) or massive 8.9-magnitude quake, like the one that hit northeast Japan on Friday, March 11, 2011 (sudden death of loved one), we can choose to  be wrought with confusion and desperation, demanding God to help us understand "why" and "what does this mean".  Or we can see and believe that God is in control, we are in His Hands, and we can trust Him.